Six

2020 Excerpts

i've heard that love arrives exactly when its supposed to and leaves exactly when it must.

i dont know what that means exactly, as however painlessly love leaves, it still leave a hole in your heart that wont be mended by anything but time.

but really, the whole global lockdown caused by this pandemic isnt helping those of us who are trying to take a breather, trying to get a clear head as even though time is on our side, it really isnt.

there's too much. too much time to think, too much time wondering the what if's and the maybes, too much time for darkness to roam inside and planting things that we want to avoid.

too much time thinking of what could've been. too much time wondering if the love that has been felt was returned, too much time thinking whether or not we were loved as much as we loved.

too much time trying to think and fixate on what we want, but it changing every 5 seconds because, lets be real, we dont know what we want.

too much time trying to heal and distracting, but never enough for the wound to heal.

i dont know what that sentence means exactly. why would love leave when the pain stays?

why would we fall in love to face heartbreak?

why would someone have to endure the pain of holding onto something that was maybe, never there?

i dont really know what that sentence means. but i hope someday i do. because to face the inevitability of falling into the void of uncertainty, never knowing where we would land sucks.

falling in love to shatter your heart into a million pieces, sucks.